JERSEY SHORE – 2/24/12

February 24th, 2012 | 1 Comment | Posted in Jersey Shore Season 5

Anyway, continuing the theme of fake relationships that was started by Mike getting some non-Paula loving, the remainder of the episode exposed the hollowness of two other relationships: Deena’s relationship with Joey and Snooki’s relationship with Jionni. As mentioned last week, Joey got blacked out drunk and hooked up with Deena, even though he clearly had no intention of doing so, and was two minutes away from chewing his own arm off to get away from her the next morning. In fact, after rewatching last week’s show, I’m convinced he only banged Deena because he was afraid JWoww would rip their heads off if he didn’t. But even though Joey was clearly not interested in Deena, Deena did seem to genuinely like the “kid” (a guidette term of endearment). I mean, she even did a hand puppet skit, and had Sammi proclaiming that it’s possible to fall in love on the Shore. Yet this week we see Deena throw herself at Paul Blart’s stunt double while getting kicked off the beach? So much for true love.

Likewise, Snooki says that she wants to marry Jionni, then spends time flirting with Mike over a game of ladder golf, hillbilly golf, testicle toss, or whatever your specific region happens to call that particular tailgate game that somehow ended up in the living room of the Shore House. Since Snooki loses the game to Mike, she has to dress as the bunny for a night out. This is when we learn that Vinny is a “Furry”, as he openly states that he now wants to have sex with Snooki again since she is wearing the bunny suit. As we all know Vinny to be a man of action, it is not surprising when he acts on his rekindled, fur-induced lust by taking Snooki on a boardwalk date, which ends with Snooki asking if they can shower and cuddle together when they get home. So much for wanting to marry Jionni. To make matters worse, Vinny then proclaims that he and Snooki are just like Rachel and Ross from Friends (aaaaaannnnnd we have officially reached rock bottom).

But, I think we are in for a treat next week! If the scenes from next week are to be believed, it seems that Mike may have spent some intimate time with one his housemates while she was dating someone else. (Sources tell me it was Snooki!) Not only that, but it seems Mike, overcome by a bout of mischievousness, is considering telling said boyfriend about these past transgressions. All of this will occur once Mike is able to regroup with a friend of his, who mysteriously has been missing for three to six months (or less with good behavior). I, for one, am on the edge of my seat!!!!!!!

So we find ourselves in the same place we were after the first episode, supposedly intrigued by Mike threatening to tell Jionni the truth. (Before I even type this next sentence, I will admit that I feel like Charlie Brown attempting to kick the football and truly believing that it won’t be pulled away at the last minute). Next week HAS to be the Mike / The Unit / Snooki disclosure episode. There are only three episodes left, so I’m thinking next week will be that, the week after will be a final night on the town and the last episode will be stock footage of the cast packing and hugging. This really saddens me because if that schedule is right, it confirms that the whole season was wasted trying to build suspense about a week story line that was teased the very first week. I didn’t really care in week 1, and, if possible, I care a little less now. Plus, Ronnie hasn’t fought anyone yet. I really hope I am wrong here, otherwise I may have to officially switch my allegiance from Jersey Shore to 16 and Pregnant, if for no other reason than the next season of 16 and Pregnant features a girl who laments that “I’m pregnant so I can’t cage fight anymore!”

Till next time.

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