Now I’m not naive, and I would never expect any sort of integrity from any reality show, let alone one on MTV. I mean, this is the network profiting on a series of shows that appear to be based solely on who would make the worst role models for teens (currently: Caged). But still, for some reason I expected more from the Shore. I always believed the show was more or less scripted, but scripted in order to provide an interesting show for us viewers. Now, I realize it’s just scripted to sell me something. It leaves me feeling like a skank getting kicked out of the house at 4 am without my shoes.
It’s all one giant commercial. How did I not realize that earlier?
Look, I don’t blame the cast for trying to cash in by any means possible. These people are close to 100% unemployable outside of the show. But it bugs me that the producers would so obviously cater to their side projects at the expense of show quality. (Yes, I just used the phrase “show quality” in relation to the Jersey Shore.) What’s next MTV? Selling advertising space on the cast’s sparkly shirts?
But, I can sit here and complain how cheated I feel, like a teenage boy who just realized that Tatu weren’t really lesbians or I can use this newfound revelation to try predict where the rest of the season will go. Let’s go with door #2.
Ok, Pauly and Vinny had their time, so who will be next up to shill their crap, and what will the product be?
The obvious guess as to who is Mike, as he got a ton of face time this episode. But guessing what he will be pushing is a lot harder. Mike also has another show in the works but the details are a little hazy. It is being called an “untitled project” at this point. It sounds like this idea isn’t fully fleshed out yet, so it would be pretty hard to promote this during the show. Mike also has an advice book, which makes absolutely no, to less than absolutely no, sense. Recall that this is the guy who didn’t think you could get an STD from oral sex from a random girl picked up in a Jersey bar, and who ran head first into a wall, on purpose. So unless this book is written from the George Constanza philosophy of “do the opposite of what you think you should do” this book should prove to be the worst advice book since “Solid Life Choices, by Janelle from Teen Mom.” Can’t imagine the producers developing a “plot” for this book either.
But wait, there’s more! Mike has a work out video ($19.99 to hear Mike say “do sit-ups” for 30 minutes), a line of GTL t-shirts and accessories, and his own tanning lotions. Mike also endorses a line of protein-infused vodka, which I guess is marketed to people who want to get buff but also get wasted (seems like it’d be easier to make alcoholic steroids, but what do I know?) I actually looked for this product, called Devotion, at the liquor store on my way to work this morning, but couldn’t find any. I was going to make a joke here about checking the dollar store or going blind from drinking it, but I read that Mike was allegedly paid $400,000 to endorse this, so clearly the joke is on us.
Alright well right after I stick up for you, you go and write this recap.. which I just dont get..
You’re utterly pissed off that they are using this show as an advertisements for these characters products/endorsement deals/spin offs and so on.. yet you use more than have your recap to advertise for me… jhob well done.. pot calling the kettle black if you ask me.. Annoying recap.
Do you mean half? And job? LOL
Job well done, thanks for editing it for me. Yes, I am the queen at making typos, good thing I wasnt complaining about grammer and spelling. Glad you found it so hilarious though. Easy to get your jollies going though, eh.