Special note to the producers of Jersey Shore: I made up all of those spoilers. I have never spoken to anyone related to the filming or production of Jersey Shore. So in response to any threatening mail you may send my way, please see below:
Dear lawyers who have yet to contact me,
Without conceding anything as far as the substance of your email that hasn’t yet been sent, the only thing my client is guilty of is being way too old to watch your program. Although this season 5 preview of Jersey Shore: Return to the Source of the Infection, will likely prove to be accurate, this information was obtained not through bribery of any cast members or producers of this show. These predictions were based solely on rote repetition from watching you trot out the same “plots” for 4 seasons. Let’s face it, at this point, tuning in to an episode of Jersey Shore and expecting something different would be like listening to “Let It Be” on the radio and expecting John Lennon to add a kazoo solo at the end. Besides, what’s the risk of printing some completely made up spoilers? Afraid people might find out that the cast drinks a lot and gets into fights? Wouldn’t want to ruin that surprise. We watch your program not to be surprised by character development or plot twists, we watch because the train wreck is still captivating.
Further, it is patently false that my client traded 4 cases of Axe body spray for backstage passes to Pauly D’s “Beating Down the Beats” world tour.
Sincerely,
My Fake Lawyer
Written by:
Reese
reesejerseyshore@gmail.com
I personally can’t wait for the new season. I heard Snookie goes to AA and Ronnie gets fat. Will be most excellent vewing fo sure.
People were pleasantly surprised by the shock value when this show first came out. Do you think this will be the last season…..or do you think they will try to milk it a little longer with a thong(they call it dental floss in Brazil) infested season in Rio or something? I can see Ronnie doing parallel bar dips on the outdoor chinnup bar/dip station while Mike The Situation is trying to cruise for chicks suntanning on Ipanema Beac….and speaking pigeon English to the girls who don’t speak anything but Portuguese.