That’s it. These trailers were pretty brief, and won’t do anything to attract new fans to the show. The shocker is supposed to be Vinnie leaving, but come on, of all the characters to leave, Vinnie is close to the least exciting option (ranking above only the hot tub). I like Vinnie, but let’s face it: Vinnie is like the bean bag chair in the living room. Sits around largely unnoticed until Snookie tries to mate with it. Vinnie is at his best as Pauly’s comedic sidekick, but even in that role, he is clearly not that important, as Pauly is capable of flying solo. So color me un-enthralled if Vinnie ends up leaving.
Like the entire series, this Season 5 previews were simple and disjointed. But the Jersey Shore wasn’t created for deep thinking or linear plot development; it was created for dumb, cheap fun. And for that, this season promises to be another huge success.
Okay, so on with the made up spoilers:
JWow punctures a breast implant and has a hair extension ripped out when brawling with a local, who had the nerve to call her “fake”.
Sammi and Ronnie get in a fight. However, realizing that not all girls are willing to overlook his steroid-induced backne, Ronnie comes crawling back.
Jionni is voted “World’s Dumbest Man” after staying with Snookie and expecting her to be keep her clothes on and be faithful. A close second in the voting goes to every guy who thinks his girlfriend will be faithful, even though she is going on the Real World
Situation breaks a hip during a bar scuffle. Luckily, his medicare part D subsidy covers most of the expenses. His upcoming stint on “Rollerblading with the Stars” is subsequently cancelled.
With ratings slipping slightly, MTV decides to bring back Angelina, who enters the house, unpacks, yells for 5 minutes, repacks and promptly returns home, marking her longest stint on the Jersey Shore to date.
Best recurring gimmick: watching guys at Karma struggle with their desire for a fleeting few moments of TV fame, and the fact that they’d have to make out with Deena to get it
Second best recurring gimmick: watching JWow speak, and trying to find any indication that she still is able to form distinct facial expressions (botox is a bitch).
So I’m looking forward to watching another season of the most damning evidence of our regression as a society, as well as providing recaps for this site. And if you are not completely satisfied with my weekly recaps, Reality Steve has graciously offered a full refund of your total purchase price.
I personally can’t wait for the new season. I heard Snookie goes to AA and Ronnie gets fat. Will be most excellent vewing fo sure.
People were pleasantly surprised by the shock value when this show first came out. Do you think this will be the last season…..or do you think they will try to milk it a little longer with a thong(they call it dental floss in Brazil) infested season in Rio or something? I can see Ronnie doing parallel bar dips on the outdoor chinnup bar/dip station while Mike The Situation is trying to cruise for chicks suntanning on Ipanema Beac….and speaking pigeon English to the girls who don’t speak anything but Portuguese.