JERSEY SHORE – 8/12/11

Bear with me because this next scene was a little weird. So the guys come back and want to cook dinner for everyone. Sammi then interjects saying she wants to cook because she’s good at it. The guys are fine with this. Sammi then can’t get a knife out of the holder nor can she figure out what strawberries are. Basically they were just making Sammi look like an idiot. The girls then decide they can’t cook, so they leave a mess in the kitchen and go eat out. The guys then wait forever, finally figure out the girls aren’t going to cook them dinner, so they start cooking themselves. The girls then come home and are pissed off at the guys for cooking dinner, even though they already ate. You follow all that? 9 million people watched this show last week. Amazing.

Snooki is fighting on the phone with Jionni. Mike overhears the fight, so he pulls Snooki aside to tell her he has feelings for her. He somehow equates dating Snooki to hitting a home run. “That’s the smartest thing I’ve heard about baseball all year,” said all Houston Astros fans watching Jersey Shore instead of the Astros game. Side note: I can’t even tell you how nice it is that the Mets are legitimate enough this year to where I don’t have to make that joke at their expense like I used to. They still suck, but at least they’re not the Astros. Hey, I smell a new slogan for next year!

So next up we finally get the answer to the biggest cliffhanger of the season: how the hell are these kids paying for that swank apartment in Italy? Don’t worry, everyone, it’s not from their parents paying for them or from using all the money they made trading commodities on the international market. Nope, they’ve got a job in a pizzeria! You know: Italy…pizza…Italians eat pizza! Solid job of avoiding stereotypes, MTV. (I’m honestly not even going to bother talking about how ridiculous the idea that they’re working in a pizza shop is. Do I really need to?)

Time for some night time fun! This week they went to The Colosseum to reflect on just how lucky they are to be traveling to this historic landmark and taking in its beauty as opposed to fighting to a death like the ancient Romans did on the very ground in which they were walking hundreds of years ago. No, I’m just kidding, they went to a club. Haha I got you!

The focus of the club scene was Ronnie having a good time and Sammi not. Ron gots pretty tipsy. He somehow came out of the bathroom with a piece of toilet paper over his eyebrow, likely because he confused his face with his ass (although this was not confirmed). He then tells Sammi he slept with 4 girls right before he left. They have to be separated by Vinnie and Jenni. So for those counting, their streak of not giving any airtime to a Ron/Sam fight is over after 1 episode, although that does set a new record for this show.